Oscars for Lawyers

Most of the year the planet is entirely indifferent to what goes on in Los Angeles. But once a year we become obsessed with the world's largest trade fair - The Oscars. I got to go a few years back, and I regret to say it was one of the dullest evenings I have ever sat through.

Four hours long, with endless commercial breaks, and book-ended by two inconceivably frustrating traffic jams (there is no public transport to speak of in LA), you're far better off watching at home. Make popcorn, cook dinner, and invite some friends over. But don't wish you were there.